Scarred
by hyrew
Summary: Originally in my Niff Prompts as "Jeff cuts himself for the first time". Warning: Self-harm
1. Chapter 1

(A.N:/ So this was actually just supposed to be a oneshot so some of you may have already read this in my niff prompts (**chapter 24-Jeff cuts himself for the first time**) Well, the old chapter 24, I just deleted it off 'cause it's now a multi-chapter fic. Now, as for my other two multi-chapters (my badboy!jeff fic and my sebofsky/niff fic) I'm still working on them and I'm sorry I haven't updated All Things Go in a little while. I'm working on it. Anyway, I got a lot of positive feedback on this and people wanting me to continue it so I figured might as well. I apologize for the lame title. I couldn't think of anything good...So, enjoy.)

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Jeff did his best to suppress a yawn as he made his way to his dorm room. He had been up since five in the morning to study for math and had just gotten back from Hockey, which was right before dance. Throw all that in with his regular classes, Warbler rehearsal, and his bassoon lesson, and Jeff was completely beat. All he wanted to do was climb into his bed and never have to move for the rest of his life. He lazily pushed his key in the hole and turned the knob only to find the shock of his life. Nick, his best friend and the guy he had spent the last two years secretly fawning over, naked and in the middle of fucking some girl Jeff automatically decided was a cheap, disgusting whore who probably had herpes or some other disease.

Nick didn't even seem to notice Jeff, it was the girl who did. She sneered at Jeff a moment. "Ew! Get your faggy friend out of here Nicky!" She yelled as Nick snapped his head up to see Jeff who had one hand covering his eyes while the other was desperately searching for the doorknob.

"Jeff-" Was all Nick was able to get out before Jeff zoomed out of the room. Jeff ran down the hallway with no destination in his mind, he just ran. Jeff didn't know what hurt the most, the fact that she called him a fag, that she called Nick Nicky, _his_ nickname for Nick, or that he had just walked in on the guy he was in love with having sex with someone that was most defiantly _not _him. He knew he couldn't hold it against Nick though, yeah, it wasn't really his place to tell that whore that Jeff was gay, especially since Jeff just came out to Nick and only Nick, last month, but he wasn't the one who called him that word. And it wasn't like they were dating, Nick was allowed to date, or sleep with, anyone he wanted. None of these factors mattered to Jeff though. He was all too focused on running as far away from the dorm as possible.

A few minutes later Jeff couldn't run any longer, he was far too worn out from the days activities. So he went into the closest room to sit down. It was the ladies restroom, which Jeff was grateful for. Being an all boys school Jeff knew there wouldn't be anyone in it. The only reason Dalton had a girls restroom was for visiting mothers or teachers, so most of the time it was empty. Jeff, needing to sit down desperately, made his way into a stall and closed the door behind him out of habit. He sat there for what seemed to be an eternity thinking over everything that just happened a few minutes ago. He took a deep breath. "Alright Jeff," He said out loud. Jeff had a habit of talking to himself when he was stressed out. "So you now know Nick's sexuality…and it's alright. Sure, you love him and just wasted the last two years of your life trying to get him to look at you but…at least now you can move on, right? Right…But with that….that fucking _whore_? Seriously now? She wasn't even attractive…alright, maybe not to you because you're gay but…wait, no, what are you doing Jeff? She was a fucking hideous slut! Ugh. Fuck…It's alright Jeff, just calm down. Just…calm….down…" By this point Jeff was hugging himself tightly while rocking back and forth slightly. Harsh sobs tried their best to escape the blond's mouth but he wouldn't let them pass. "Shit." Jeff whispered, beginning to feel completely heartbroken.

Jeff stayed like this for some time until he felt comfortable to move again. When he did he hissed in pain. His arm scrapped against an open safety pin on his backpack. Jeff looked down at the small cut and watched as a little bubble of blood formed. Normally he would patch it up with a band-aid but this time it was different. It _felt_ different. It hurt like hell but Jeff didn't mind, in fact, it seemed to almost calm him down, just a little. Jeff, without even thinking, removed the safety pin from his bag and stared at it. He put the point up to his skin and rested it there, not digging in the skin, not yet. It felt cool to the touch and shimmered in the light a little. _It wouldn't be too deep. It'd be just like scratching myself. And it doesn't have to be all the time or anything. Just this once…Yeah, like a one time kind of thing. And it'll help me get rid of the pain, right? Just this once. All it takes is a few tiny little cuts and I wont do it again. I'll be fine. It's not like I'd be hurting anyone else…and lots of people do it…right? Yeah…_ Jeff was knocked out of his thoughts when he suddenly felt liquid dripping down his arm. He looked down confused and was slightly shocked when he saw the tiniest line of blood on his arm. He hadn't even realized he cut himself. And it felt good. Maybe not good, but better. It made him feel better. So he did it again. And again. And again. After about five or so cuts he put the safety pin back on his bag and went over to the sink to clean up. Once he was finished and the small cuts were finished bleeding Jeff checked his phone for the time. It had been over an hour since he left and he had two text messages. One from Trent asking if he wanted to do a duet together next week and one from Nick that sent about a minute ago.

"Hey sorry about that…If you wanted to come back up, you can. Mindy and I are about to leave to go to her place. We're leaving right now." Jeff said as he read the text out loud. Jeff stayed in the bathroom another five minutes to make sure he didn't have to run into either of them. Of course when Nick said they were about to leave he was wrong.

Jeff opened the door and almost ran into Mindy. Nick was in the bathroom taking a shower. The girl sneered up at Jeff. "Ew! Gross! Watch where you're going fag boy!"

Jeff decided to take the high road and not say anything back. He went over to his bed and sat his bag down. Mindy smirked. "I blew Nicky on your bed." She said, as if she was bragging. Jeff, again, decided to ignore her. He silently begged her to shut up as she continued speaking. "I feel bad for poor Nicky. He has to constantly worry about you trying to rape him an-"

"Excuse me?" Jeff practically yelled, cutting Mindy off. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Wow, you're so rude! Don't cut someone off when they're speaking! Do you fags not know manors?"

"And do you whores not know how to keep your legs shut? Seriously I can see your vagina from over here and trust me no man, gay or straight, wants to see that wrinkly, loose ass cave." Jeff instantly retorted back, feeling a little proud of himself after he saw her face.

"At least I'm not an abomination! According to the Bible what you are is wrong and disgusting."

"Sweetie, you're outfit is wrong and disgusting." Jeff said, with a huge fake smile. He usually hated saying flamboyant things like that but he couldn't help it that time.

"Ah! Don't talk to me! You're rude and disgusting and sinning! And I don't want to go to Hell _or_ be a fag because you're too close to me!" She spat out.

"Are you a complete idiot! Being gay isn't contagious and going to Hell defiantly isn't. And besides, I'd much rather go to Hell than have to be stuck up in Heaven with you and all the other bigoted fucking asshole twats! So go fuck yourself you stupid fucking cun-"

"Jeff!" Jeff was cut off by an outraged Nick. Clearly he hadn't heard anything that Mindy said and only caught the last part of the conversation. "What the fuck! Don't speak to her like that!"

"Nick I-"

"No! Dude that isn't cool! Since when did you become a total asshole? Dude, you don't treat a lady like that."

"Oh believe me, she isn't a lady." Jeff mumbled to himself. Of course, with the luck Jeff was having today Nick heard him.

"Jeff! Stop it! Apologize to my girlfriend!" Nick demanded while Mindy gave Jeff a condescending smile.

Jeff shook his head. "No. I can't."

Jeff's words seemed to make Nick even more angry. "The fuck you!" Nick said, shoving Jeff and storming out with Mindy glaring back at Jeff.

Nick slammed the door and Jeff just sighed. He sat down on his bed, silently hoping Mindy had lied when she said she blew Nick there. Not because Nick was naked on his bed but because he didn't want Mindy's skanky ass touching anything of his.

He grabbed the safety pin off his bag and sighed. He knew what would make everything feel better again. And at that moment Jeff knew that it wasn't going to just be a one time thing.

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(A.N:/ That was NOT going to be that long at all but it kind of just ended up happening. I was going to end it right after he cut himself but I decided I wanted to have a little Mindy/Jeff conversation.:] Anyway, hope you liked it. XOXO)


	2. Chapter 2

(A.N:/ So, the last chapter was the one that I had already published. This is the new one. I'll try to update this soon but I have two other fics to do too...But enough about that. Anyway, here's chapter two. Hope you enjoy!)

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When Nick arrived back to their dorm after going to Mindy's he didn't even bother trying to speak to Jeff. Ask him why he said those things, or even if he was going to apologize. He said nothing.

That was two weeks ago.

Jeff found himself in the bathroom connected to his dorm, with an exacto-knife he took from the art room, up against his arm. Before he pressed down he examined his arm, sighing a little. A large portion of his arm had cuts on them, ranging from almost completely gone and thin, to fresh and long. His arm looked as if he had been cutting himself for a few months now even though it had only been two weeks since he had started. Jeff found himself in a bathroom with a blade against his arm at least three times a day now. This was his second today.

Jeff put pressure on the knife and quickly sliced through his skin. He found it to be easier if he did it quickly instead of slow like he used to. Jeff repeated the process a few times before pausing for a moment to watch his newly formed cuts start to bubble crimson. A few of them, the ones with the larger bubbles, streaked down his arm and landed in drops on the tiled floor. Jeff quickly rubbed the bottom of his sock over the drops to clean them up. Jeff, deciding he wasn't quite finished, took the knife once more and cut down, a little deeper than usual but not enough that he would need medical help. He watched as the line quickly turned red, then began to bubble right before it dripped down his arm.

He sat there, frozen as reality melted away, as he watched the steady flow of red slowly but surly grow weaker and weaker until the blood dried on his arm. When he had finally realized he had been zoned out watching himself bleed twenty minutes had passed and he knew he needed to get out and meet Kurt in the cafeteria who had now probably been waiting five minutes for the blond to arrive.

Jeff quickly ran his arm under the sink, grabbing the washcloth he used for his shower to wipe away the dry blood. He went over to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a large bottle of peroxide. Jeff flinched and squirmed a little as the peroxide touched his skin, making it slightly burn. Jeff then grabbed a large hoodie and put it on, wincing a little when the fabric rubbed his cuts. Jeff rolled up the sleeve and put two large medical bandages on his fresh cuts. Jeff took a moment to be grateful that he had these supplies in his bathroom. When he and Nick were talking they used to pull pranks on others which usually resulted in one of them, almost always Jeff, getting hurt.

Once Jeff decided he was ready he grabbed the stained red cloth and placed it in his dirty laundry basket, under a few shirts and underwear. Jeff opened the bathroom door and stepped out only to see Mindy sitting on Nick's bed, half naked, and alone.

Mindy smirked when she saw Jeff walking out of the bathroom. "You were in there a long time. You weren't touching yourself while thinking about _my_ Nicky, were you?"

Jeff huffed. "Go fuck yourself you fucking whore." He said, grabbing his bag and heading towards the door.

"I don't need to. That's why I have Nicky."

Jeff gridded his teeth together. Even though he and Nick were currently fighting that didn't mean that Jeff didn't still care about him and the way that Mindy was talking was really starting to piss Jeff off. "You're acting like you're only dating him for his dick." Jeff said, mentally cursing himself for even saying anything at all.

Mindy huffed. "Because I am. He's not good for anything else an-"

"Are you fucking serious!" Jeff growled, completely losing all ability to control his rage. "How _dare_ you say something like that! How dare you use my best friend you fucking bitch! I don't even understand why he likes you! You're just a useless, manipulative twat who's only future is being a prostitute. Oh wait no, I'm sorry, that would mean someone would have to pay to have sex with you and don't the other way around." Jeff hissed, completely unaware that Nick was behind him.

It wasn't until Jeff was on the ground, nose bleeding, that he even realized that he wasn't alone with Mindy. "How dare you say that Jeff!" Nick yelled, shaking the hand he used to punch Jeff. "Do you really think it's okay to treat someone like that? No! It isn't! I'm not going to let you treat the girl I love…" Nick continued to yell at Jeff but every word became fuzzy and unintelligible for Jeff as he heard the word 'love'

_Love…He loves her…He loves her and not me…He loves her and hates me…_ Jeff thought as he started to suddenly feel dizzy. He felt like his stomach was attempting an acrobatic stunt and he couldn't handle it. He felt like he was going to throw up and actually die all at the same time. He felt like all his organs were shutting down and he was going into heart failure. But Jeff knew that none of that was happening. It was just his heart being stomped on repeatedly as Nick continued to yell and hate him.

Nick was still yelling, hovering over Jeff, when Jeff couldn't take it any longer. He stood up as quickly as he could, earning himself a sudden rush of dizziness, before storming out of the room. He knew his nose was bleeding but he didn't care. He didn't even bother putting his hand over it to try to cover it up. He didn't even care when the other students in the hallway looked at Jeff in either disgust from his bloody face, or concern. He didn't even care that Kurt had been waiting for him for probably fifteen minutes now. He didn't even care if he died right then and there. He just didn't care.

Jeff ran into the women's bathroom again, thankful he always carried a spare exact o-knife and supplies for cleaning up in his bag, and pulled it out the second he got in a stall. He pushed up his sleeve and began cutting, deeper than usual but still not bad enough for stitches. Jeff knew better than to do that because then the doctor or nurse would notice the many lines on his arm. He knew he couldn't go too deep but if he did, he didn't care. The worst that could happen would be him dying and in that moment, it felt like it would be the best. Jeff watched as the crimson dripped down his arm, careful not to get any on his clothes.

A few minutes later Jeff began feeling guilty for making Kurt wait and quickly cleaned himself up, including his nose which was still bleeding lightly, and practically ran to the cafeteria, thankful that Kurt had decided to wait.

"You're late." Kurt said, not looking up from the book he was reading.

"I know sorry." Jeff said, sheepishly as he sat down across from Kurt.

"You're bleeding." Kurt said, finally bringing his gaze to meet the blond's face.

Jeff's eyes widened and he immediately put his hand on his arm, but quickly realized Kurt was talking about his face. When he had cleaned the dry blood off his face his nose was still bleeding, it must have dripped down some when he was running. "Oh uh-yeah."

"What happened?" Kurt asked, concerned.

"I…It's nothing really. I just got punched…" Jeff said, awkwardly trying to avoid Kurt's gaze.

"What? By who!" Kurt asked, completely taken back. Jeff was the kind of person who everyone liked. He was friendly, kind, funny, helpful, and always had a big smile on his face. Everyone liked Jeff, so why would someone try to hurt the bubbly blond?

"Kurt, seriously, it's no big deal…"

"Stop avoiding the question." Kurt said, sternly.

"I-uh…Nick did, alright? His girlfriend was being a bitch and told me she's only dating him for the sex and Nick walked in when I was telling her off and well, hit me. Hard too." Jeff explained.

Kurt gasped a little. "What? Mindy? I…Of course she would. I met her once for like two minutes and she kept glaring at me."

"Because she's homophobic." Jeff explained.

"Wait, so does she have something to do with how you and Nick haven't been speaking?"

Jeff nodded, a little thankful that no one else was around and that he was speaking to Kurt. Aside from Nick, Kurt was Jeff's closest friend. Kurt was also the only other person aside from Nick to know that Jeff was gay. Jeff had confided in Kurt last week about his sexuality. Though he knew the rest of the Warblers would welcome him in open arms, Jeff was still terrified to say anything. Jeff sighed deeply. "Yeah. I uh-oh God, this is going to sound so awkward but I walked in on them having sex and I ran out of course. Then I came back when Nick texted me that they were leaving but of course they were still there. Nick was in the shower and that bitch kept talking to me, calling me a…" Jeff paused a moment, looking around to make sure no one aside from Kurt would hear the next word he said. "fag, and at first I was going to just ignore her but she kept going and it just…It just really pissed me off and Nick came out of the shower in the middle of me telling her off."

Kurt nodded and gave Jeff a sympathetic look. "You know, my roommate moved out last week. I'd be happy to let you stay with me until this whole thing blows over."

Jeff finally looked up at Kurt and smiled weakly. "Thanks Kurt. I really appreciate it."

Kurt nodded. "Anytime. Besides, I can give you a whole new wardrobe while we stay together."

Jeff chuckled a little. One of his favourite things about Kurt was the boy's ability to make any situation, no matter how sad or serious, into one about fashion. "There's nothing wrong with my clothes!"

Kurt looked him up and down and Jeff suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. "Uh Jeff, you're wearing sweats and a hoodie…sweat pants that have a giant mustard stain on the crotch."

Jeff frowned a little. "I dropped my hotdog, okay! It happens!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just tell me when you want to move, I'll help you pack."

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(A.N:/ I don't know why but for some reason this story is like super easy for me to write…Like I just busted out 1800+ words in like 30 minutes! That never happens! Ha, I'm a slow writer -_- Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Again, if you want me to continue, just tell me. I kinda want to but I'm not sure if anyone will actually read it haha. Thanks for reading!) \o/


	3. Chapter 3

(A.N:/ So, I just finished planning this fic! :D It's a total of seven chapters. **Trigger warning. Also homophobia.** Obviously this entire story could have possible triggers on it. I'm only stating this because I'd feel guilty not saying it. Anyway, on to chapter three! Hope you enjoy!)

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The next day Jeff was comfortably resting on his new bed in Kurt's room, music blaring through his headphones as he mindlessly wrote his English essay. His head bobbed smoothly with the beat as he slowly drifted out of reality.

_Okay so, for the first time in like a week I have a clear head. Time to try and sort things out. Okay, this is good; it means I can think about how I can get Nick to realize that Mindy is just using him...or I can just plot ways to kill off Mindy. I could always rent a big truck and hit her...No, I'd get caught and put in jail...Oh, and that's murder but whatever. I can't just tell him. He fucking punched me in the face and thought everything was my fault. I mean yeah, sure he came in at the wrong time so it would look that way but he _knows_ me! Nick knows I wouldn't say that to someone unless they did something shitty to me first! Why the fuck would he take her side!_

"Thinking about Nick?" Kurt asked as he sat on the edge of Jeff's bed.

Jeff jerked up and removed his headphones. "What?"

"I said are you thinking about Nick?" Kurt repeated.

Jeff's brows furrowed. "How did you know?"

"I can read minds." Kurt said, smiling.

Jeff's eyes widened. "W-what!"

Kurt chuckled, waving Jeff off. "I'm kidding, look at your paper." Kurt said, pointing at the notebook in front of Jeff. The moment Jeff had begun thinking about Nick he started writing Nick's name over and over again.

"Oh..." Jeff said, awkwardly.

"You miss him." Kurt said, placing his hand on Jeff's shoulder.

"He's my best friend. Of course I do." Jeff said, starting to erase Nick's name off of his paper.

"You love him." Kurt said, knowingly.

"I do. And everyone knows except him." Jeff said, sounding a little bitter. "And as of right now, I'd be alright with just being friends with the idiot! I'd be freakin' ecstatic! But no. He has to be an ass and choose that stupid bimbo over me. He chose some slut he's been with for what? A few weeks, over his best friend of eight years now. I shouldn't even miss him."

Kurt sighed a little, feeling bad for his friend. He placed his hand on Jeff's shoulder. "Come on, let's go for a walk or something. Maybe it'll make you feel a little better."

Jeff nodded. "Alright, yeah. But when we get back you have to help me with this stupid essay. It's supposed to be about Shakespeare and as of right now all I have is music lyrics and Nick's name a bunch of times..." Jeff said, swinging his legs over the bed and standing up. Kurt did the same. Jeff slid on his shoes and the two were out the door.

Kurt chuckled. "Jeff, it's already ten at night. How are you not done?"

"It's impossible to do when you can't focus!" Jeff whined. "Alright so where are we go-shit." Jeff mumbled.

"What?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Well well well, look who it is?" Mindy said, smirking at Jeff. "And who is this? Your faggy boyfriend?"

Kurt turned to Jeff. "I'm assuming this bitch is Nick's slutty girlfriend?" He said, completely ignoring Mindy's presence.

Jeff nodded. "Yeah, this is the bitch." Jeff said as the two began walking past her. Jeff tried his best to remain calm but on the inside he was freaking out. Seeing Mindy made Jeff want to cut. It made Jeff want to cut more than he had ever wanted to before. He knew he had to get away from Mindy and he had to do it fast. "Come on Kurt, let's go." Jeff said, starting to walk away.

"Yeah, I'm sure you two are going to go off somewhere and go have fag sex."

Kurt whirled around. "Um excuse me little miss bitch but just because Jeff and I both just so happen to be gay doesn't mean that we're dating, or having sex with each other. We're friends. And I don't know who told you it was alright to use the 'f' word, but it isn't." Kurt said, annoyed.

Jeff just stood in awe and unable to move. He was using all his energy trying to focus on Kurt's words, while ignoring Mindy's. All he wanted to do was run, but he couldn't move.

"Oh please, when you're an abomination and a sin against God calling someone a fag is perfectly fine. You're disgusting. The both of you. What you do is disgusting and wrong and I don't want my Nicky involved with the either of you."

"What do you mean _involved_?" Kurt asked, venom in his voice.

"I don't want the either of you turning him into one of you. You're both worthless. Especially you." Mindy shot back, gesturing at Jeff.

Kurt begun yelling at Mindy but Jeff wasn't processing any of his words. The world slowly faded away for Jeff and Kurt's words became inaudible background noise. Time began to slow and each second started to drag on for minutes. _I can't do this. I can't listen to her drown on and on about how wrong it is to be me. I don't need her telling me what I already know. That I'm worthless. Like I don't already know that. I...I can't do this right now, I need to get away! I can't handle this...But I can't just run away...shit...I don't know what to do! _Kurt stopped speaking and Jeff could see Mindy's mouth moving. He couldn't quite understand what she was saying though. He just knew it was about him since she kept pointing in his direction.

"I have to go." Jeff said quickly, running past Kurt and Mindy down the hall. Jeff could hear Kurt calling him but Jeff never turned back; he just kept running. Jeff ran until he reached the girl's bathroom and ran inside, going to the same stall he had used the first time he cut himself. Jeff closed the stall door and sat on the floor, bringing his knees to his chest while taking slow, deep breaths to try to calm himself. Jeff hadn't even realized he was shaking until his pocket knife fell out of his pocket and landed on the hard tile floor. The last few weeks Jeff had begun carrying a small pocket knife around with him wherever he went just in case he needed it. Jeff grabbed the pocket knife and stared at it for a few long moments, taking in every detail of the blade before rolling up his sleeve and pressing it against his skin. He slowly dragged it across his arm, near his inner elbow, and moved the blade down, repeating the process. He made a total of fifteen cuts, going from the top of his forearm to his wrist. The cuts quickly formed tiny bubbles of blood which turned into thick red lines that slid down his arm and began composing a small puddle on the cold tile floor. Jeff rested his bleeding arm on his knee, bloody side up, as he watched the blood slowly drip down. He stared down at his arm; at the word he carved in his arm. _Worthless_. Jeff stared down at the word; the one that had always defined him. It felt suiting to have it there. To always remind him of what he was; what everyone thought he was, what everyone _knew_ he was.

Jeff watched the blood until it finally quit bleeding. The blood had completely dried but Jeff remained still, just staring at his arm. Jeff suddenly jumped when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He picked up his phone and saw that he had twelves missed calls, and twenty text messages; all from Kurt. Jeff hadn't even realized he had been in the bathroom for over two hours. He quickly answered his phone. "Hello?" Jeff said, his voice dry and weak.

"Jeff? Jeff, what happened? Are you alright? Where are you? I've been looking forever." Kurt said, panicking.

"I'm sorry Kurt. I just...I can't stand her and I just kinda panicked I guess. I'm really sorry for making you freak out." Jeff said, starting to feel guilty. He hadn't meant for anyone to worry because of him.

Jeff could hear Kurt sighing loudly on the other end of the phone. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine now. I just needed to calm down. I went for a walk and I'm fine now." Jeff lied. "I'll be up in a few minutes. I'm just going to take one last stroll through the courtyard and I'll head back up, alright?"

"Alright, just hurry up Jeff. It's after midnight and you have that essay. Not to mention the fact that curfew was over an hour ago. Just...hurry up and get back here, please."

Jeff nodded to himself. "Yeah, alright. Sorry for leaving you with _her_...and for making you worry. Just give me a few minutes."

"Alright. I'll see you then. Bye Jeff." Kurt said, hanging up.

Jeff sighed a little as he put his phone back in his pocket. He quickly picked the pocketknife back up and made a few more slits before standing up, rolling his sleeve back down, and walking out of the stall. He opened the bathroom door up just a crack and made sure no one was around. When he saw that the hall was empty Jeff quickly ran out of the bathroom and carefully jogged towards the area where the dorms were. Jeff knew if he could get to the dorm hall he would be safe. If he got caught there he could simply say he had to use the rest room and his roommate was already using the one in their room.

A few minutes later Jeff was climbing up the stairs to his room. He whirled around the corner so quickly he didn't even notice the other boy until he collided with him. The two fell to the floor. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry I-" Jeff instantly quit speaking when he looked over at the boy he ran into. It was Nick.

"Jeff..." Nick said, body tense. His brows furrowed when he looked at Jeff's sleeve. Though the hall was dimly lit he could still see the sleeve had damp spots. Because of the poor lighting Nick couldn't tell exactly what it was. It just looked like water. Like Jeff had spilled some water and tried using his sleeve to clean it up. He then looked at Jeff and noticed that Jeff's face was pale and thinner looking then usual. He had dark circles under his eyes. He just seemed all in all sadder than usual. "Are you alright?" Nick said, starting to sound worried. Though he and Jeff were not on the best of terms with each other Nick still cared about him. They had been best friends for eight years, Nick couldn't just throw that away in a matter of weeks.

Jeff's eyes widened. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't cleaned himself up after he cut himself last and when he collided with Nick he must have reopened his wound. "I'm fine." Jeff said, quickly getting up and running away.

Nick caught his hand but Jeff's hand was wet and he slipped away. "Jeff." Nick called but Jeff just kept running. Nick looked down at his hand and froze. His hand, the one he used to grab Jeff's, was covered in blood. "What the?"

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(A.N:/ Welp, that's the end of chapter three. :D Hope you enjoyed. I'll update with chapter four once I update my other two multi-chapter fics. Sorry it was very long. :/ Thanks for reading guys!)

\o/


	4. Chapter 4

(A.N:/ First of all I am **SO** sorry that it's been over a month since I last updated! I hate to make excuses for it but I've just been super busy with work/prompts/actual life/my other WIPS. I haven't forgotten about this though! There are only four chapters left in this story and I'm gonna try and update with chapter five asap! Trigger warning and such. Like always. Anyway, here is chapter four. Hope you enjoy!

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The next morning Jeff woke up only to find Nick sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him. Jeff looked over at Kurt who gave him an apologetic look. Obviously Nick had barged in and Trent couldn't get him to leave.

"I'm going to head out. I'll be back later." Kurt said, softly as he walked out of the room. It was Saturday so there were no classes.

"No-_shit_." Jeff mumbled as Kurt closed the door behind him.

"Jeff, we need to talk." Nick said, in a serious tone.

Jeff frowned and gave Nick a confused look before the events of last night came flooding back to him. Jeff's eyes widened momentarily before trying to play dumb. "About what? You finally realized that Mindy doesn't deserve you and that I was right?" He said, coldly. All Jeff wanted was for Nick to leave. Especially since Jeff was laying awkwardly under his blanket and wasn't wearing a shirt. Jeff always waited until Trent went into the bathroom to get out of bed and put a hoodie on, but this time Jeff over slept and he wasn't expecting Nick to be there when he woke up. Jeff couldn't move without showing Nick his scars and protruding ribs from lack of nourishment over the last few weeks.

Nick frowned. "Jeff, no. We're not talking about Mindy right now, we're talking about you. You were bleeding last night. What happened? Are you alright?" Nick asked, concerned.

"I tripped." Jeff said, far too quickly for it to sound real. Jeff mentally slapped himself and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. "I...okay, you know the bathroom downstairs by the Science hall that has the ghetto doors?" He paused a moment and waited for Nick to nod to show he knew what Jeff was talking about. Jeff nodded back. "Good. Alright, well last night Kurt was taking forever in the shower and I _really_ had to pee and I _was_ going to use the bathrooms down the hall but I heard some strange noises coming from there. Either someone fucking or that creepy janitor that I've decided is a pedophile was jacking off. I don't know but it was creepy so I went downstairs and on the way out of the stall I scrapped my wrist on the crooked lock thing." Jeff said, trying his best to make it sound like a believable story.

Nick nodded slowly, almost as if he was deciding whether or not the story was true. After a moment or two Nick decided that it was true because why would somebody lie about that and smiled a little. "That's good-uh...Not that you got hurt! But that you're okay. I was...I don't know." Nick said, laughing lightly. "I guess I was just a little worried. That's all."

"Why?" Jeff asked, coldly.

"Why?" Nick repeated, confused.

"Why would you be worried about me considering last time we spoke you fucking punched me and basically said you didn't want to be my friend anymore."

"Jeff..." Nick said, softly.

"No. Fuck you. You chose some fucking slut over me!"

"She isn't a slut Jeff." Nick said, starting to get angry.

"Yeah she is but her magic vagina powers are just making you act like an idiot or something! She's using you, Nick!"

"What the fuck Jeff!" Nick yelled, throwing his arms up. "What's your problem Jeff? What did Mindy ever do to you?"

"Uh lets see, well for starters she called me a faggy loser who is going to Hell, and then she decided to take _my_ best friend away from me!" Jeff yelled back. _Not to mention she's cheating on you and I fucking love you, fucktard._ Jeff mentally added.

"_She_ didn't take me away from you, _you_ did with your douchy behavior towards her." Nick shot back.

"How is any of this my fault! Stop trying to blame me, you fucking asshat!" Jeff yelled, shooting his arms up in anger but quickly throwing them back under the blanket when he remembered he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Nick caught a glimpse of Jeff's arms and saw a blur of red. "Show me your arm." Nick demanded.

"W-what for?" Jeff asked, anger suddenly draining from him.

"Show me your fucking arm Jeff."

"No!"

"What's wrong Jeff? Tell me!" Nick yelled.

"It's not like you would care because all I ever do is hate on your girlfriend according to you" Jeff said, coldly.

"Fuck you, Jeff." Nick yelled, standing up and storming out of the room. "Hi Kurt." Nick said, sternly as he walked past Kurt who was clearly just standing outside the room, listening in on their conversation.

Kurt sheepishly walked in the dorm and gave Jeff a sympathetic look. "You okay?"

Jeff took a deep breath in and started shaking. "F-fine." He choked out before starting to sob uncontrollably.

"Jeff..." Kurt said, softly, climbing on Jeff's bed and rubbing Jeff's back, trying his best to soothe him.

"He hates me. He fucking hates me. He just wanted to see if I was alright and I go and fuck it up by being an ass." Jeff sobbed.

"You're hurt. He hurt you. You have every right to be an ass." Kurt said, soothingly. Jeff shifted in his bed and the blanket moved, revealing Jeff's arms and upper torso. Kurt gasped a little but continued to rub Jeff's back. "Jeff...You shouldn't hurt yourself. You have enough pain already."

"Don't tell anyone..." Jeff said, in-between sobs.

"You need help."

"No I don't."

"Why do you do this to yourself, Jeff?" Kurt asked, softly.

"Because I'm fat. I cut myself, I'm fat. And stupid. And the guy I love, my best fucking friend, hates me." Jeff said, in an almost whining voice.

"You aren't fat, Jeff. Have you looked at yourself lately? You're skin and bones..."

"I...I need to go. I'm sorry Kurt, can we talk later? I just need to...I don't know...I don't even know Kurt, I just need some air." Jeff said, pulling on a hoodie and leaving the dorm. "Sorry, Kurt." Jeff ran down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the his usual stall in the ladies guest restroom. Without even having to stick his finger down his throat, Jeff threw up. Most likely from stress and Kurt seeing his scars. "Shit." Jeff mumbled. "_Shit!_" He repeated, punching the door to the stall, breaking the skin around two of his knuckles. "Shit..." He said, softly as he looked down at his bleeding knuckles. Jeff looked down at what used to be the contents of his stomach for a few minutes before finally deciding it wasn't enough and stuck two fingers down his throat a few times before he was finally able to throw up again. He repeated the process a few more times until he was only throwing up clear liquid. Jeff flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall and over to the sink where he washed his hands and face, making it a point to avoid his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't stand to look at himself anymore.

* * *

Kurt sighed softly as he watched Jeff run out of their dorm. "Damn..." He mumbled. Kurt tried his best to be gentle and sound understanding when he saw the scars on Jeff's arms. Kurt knew how easily Jeff got spooked. Truth was, Kurt didn't understand why Jeff would do something so horrible to himself. Jeff must have seen a totally different person in the mirror than Kurt and everyone else did. Kurt sat by himself for a few moments before his anger boiled over and he stormed out of the room, down towards Nick's.

After a few moments of pounding on Nick's door Nick finally opened up. "Kurt?" Nick said, confused. He stepped aside to let Kurt in but Kurt didn't move.

"No. I'm going to make this quick. You need to make up with Jeff. He fucking needs you Nick. Especially right now-and _don't_ start with that 'he called my girlfriend a whore' shit because you know what? She is a whore Nick. She's using you. Jeff wasn't lying when he said that. Jeff's not trying to ruin your relationship for no reason. He's trying to protect you and you're just making everything for him worse right now and you can't even see that because you're too busy trying to get into your girlfriend's pants."

"What? Mindy isn't using me. She loves me and I love her."

"How can you love someone who treats your best friend like shit!"

"She isn't that bad to Jeff, Kurt."

"Really? Because I met her yesterday and she's a fucking cunt Nick. In the five minutes I spoke to her she told me I was an abomination, disgusting, and that she didn't want you around Jeff or myself because we will 'turn you gay'. I'm not even joking, Nick. She seriously thinks that by being my friend you will turn gay."

"I...Kurt, she wouldn't say that..." Nick said, in disbelief.

"But why would I lie about that? And why would _Jeff_ hate her so much? Jeff of all people. Jeff who loves everyone! Why would he hate her for no reason?"

"I...I don't know!" Nick said, growing frustrated.

"Ugh. You're so frustrating Nick. Just...I don't know, try to keep your blood in your brain and not your dick and actually think about what I'm saying, okay?" Kurt said, frustrated, as he started to stomp back to his room.

"She's not using me!" Nick called back.

"Yes she is." Kurt replied, slamming his door behind him.

"She's not using me...right?" Nick mumbled to himself, starting to really think about what Jeff and Kurt had now said to him.

* * *

(A.N:/ And that would be the end of chapter four! :D Woo. I'll **try** to update soon! Promise. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and again, I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update with this!)

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	5. Chapter 5

(A.N:/ Told you guys I would update soon! :D Did I mention that there are only going to be a total of seven chapters for this? Three more chapters until this story is over. So, on to chapter five. :D I figured I might as well update with this before I start the next chapter of All Things Go because this is usually 4-5,000 words less anyway so it's quicker to write...Also, thanks for all the reviews you guys! It's very much appreciated! Now, chapter five. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

A month past without Nick and Jeff saying a word to each other. They avoided eye contact during class and Warbler practice and Jeff had finished moving all of his things to Kurt's room. Kurt tried his best to force the two together but both were far too stubborn to listen to Kurt.

Nick was laying on his bed, Mindy under him, kissing her. She pulled away from him for a moment and started unbuttoning his pants.

"Hey Mindy?" Nick asked, casually.

"Yes Nicky-bear?"

"Why don't you like Jeff?" Nick asked, simply.

Mindy frowned. "Because he's a disgusting faggot who doesn't deserve to live." She said, harshly. "Now," She started, tone sweet again. "Let's drop the subject and make love."

Nick frowned and pushed Mindy away. "Min, baby, he's my friend...my _best_ friend." Nick said.

"And I don't want you talking to him anymore!" Mindy said, quickly. "He' wrong and disgusting and I don't want him converting you into a gay."

Nick gaped a little at Mindy. He had never seen this side of her before. "Min, hun, you can't _catch_ being gay...and so what that he's gay. It's Jeff, he's my best friend. He could murder babies for all I care, he'd still be my best friend."

"Murder is sin! And so is being a worthless fag!"

"Don't say that shit about Jeff. Or any gay person for that matter." Nick said, starting to get annoyed.

"Nicholas, do _not_ take that tone with me."

"Then don't talk down to me like I'm some sort of idiot or something. All I did was ask why you don't like Jeff. I mean, honestly, I don't really get it...Everyone loves Jeff...everyone but you..."

"And God."

"Excuse me?" Nick asked, confused.

"God doesn't love him." Mindy said, simply.

Nick scoffed. "What happened to God loved all His children?" Nick wasn't a very religious person but over the last few weeks he had heard a few of the many, _many_, things Mindy said and God loving all His kids was one of the few things that actually managed to sink in with Nick.

"Well He doesn't love the sinners and faggots like your worthless friend!" Mindy practically screeched.

"Don't talk about him like that! Jeff isn't worthless!" Nick yelled, pushing Mindy away from him and standing up off his bed.

"Why are you being so difficult?" Mindy whined.

"Because you're shitting on my friend!"

"Then stop being his friend!" Mindy said, annoyed. "You're better than him!"

"No." Nick said, sharply. "You know what no. Jeff is amazing. You're wrong, I'm not better than Jeff, I'm better than you."

Mindy gasped, dramatically. "You're _what_! I think your gross friend is messing with your head! He's trying to turn you away from me!"

"No, you're doing that all on your own. Now, just...Ugh, get out Mindy. We're done. I can't date someone who hates my best friend for no reason."

"He _turned_ you, didn't he!" Mindy screeched out.

"He _what_? What does that ever mean? Do you even know what you're saying or has all that product finally seeped into your brain?"

"He turned you into a gay Nicholas! He's gotten to you but that's alright because there are camps that can fix you. It's okay Nicky, we can fix you." Mindy said, grabbing Nick's hands in hers and smiling hopefully at him.

Nick shook his head slightly and looked at her for a moment in disbelief before moving his hands away. "What? Are you...are you a fucking dumbass or something! Read my lips: There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With. Being. Gay. And who the fuck says that I am gay! Just because Jeff is my friend and just so happens to be gay doesn't mean that I'm gay too. I mean, I have other gay friends too, I even have bisexual, pansexual, and even a transgendered friend. It doesn't matter because sexual orientation isn't contagious you retarded cunt and even if it was I'd much rather fuck Jeff than a bitch like you." Nick said, starting to push Mindy out of his dorm. "Now, get the fuck out of my dorm, and my life. We're done you self-righteous bitch."

Nick said, slamming the door just as Mindy walked out, locking the door as he did so. A moment later Nick heard Mindy fiddling with the door and Nick smirked.

"Ugh! Nicky! We're _not_ done here!"

Nick ignored her and flopped on his bed, pulling out a comic from under his bed. It was one of the comics that Jeff forgot to take with him when he moved out. Nick wasn't particularly fond of comics, he just needed something to do until Mindy gave up and left. Mindy continued to screech but Nick just ignored her, staying silent the entire time.

After about ten minutes Mindy finally left, storming off and yelling at who Nick assumed was Thad. Once Nick deemed it was safe to leave he put the comic down and left to room in search of Jeff, or, at the very least, someone who knew where Jeff would be. Nick walked down the hall, past Kurt and Jeff's room. Jeff always hated being cooped up inside and since it was mid-day there was no way that Jeff was in his dorm. After a few minutes of hunting down Jeff Nick finally found Kurt in the dining hall.

"Kurt, hey."

"Daniel? Oh no, it's Kevin?" Kurt asked.

Nick frowned. "Very funny, Kurt. I know, it's been a while since we've spoken..."

"It's been a month." Kurt said, frowning.

Nick gave Kurt an apologetic look. "Look, Kurt...I'm sorry, I really am..."

"_I'm_ not the one you should be apologizing to." Kurt said, sternly. Kurt had a habit of lecturing everyone about everything.

Nick nodded slightly. "I know...That's why I'm here. Have you seen Jeff?"

"It depends." Kurt said, tilting his face up slightly.

"On what?" Nick asked.

"On what you're going to say to him." Kurt said, simply.

"I broke up with Mindy. I...you were right. You were both right, Mindy was a bitch."

"She finally admitted to using you?" Kurt asked.

Nick shook his head. "No, it didn't even come down to that. She just...kept shitting on Jeff and I guess her 'magic vagina powers' quit working...I came to my senses."

Kurt shook his head slightly. "No, magic vagina powers don't stop working until you realize you're-wait, Nick...are you...?"

Nick looked at Kurt in confusion for a few moments before understanding what Kurt was trying to say. "_Kurt_! What! No! Mindy was just a bitch and I didn't want to listen to her talk crap about him anymore."

Kurt scoffed a little. "Fine, fine, he's in our room."

Nick gave Kurt a confused look. "But it's a Sunday afternoon and Jeff hates being indoors."

"He used to. Jeff's changed a lot, Nick. A _lot_. It's time you start paying attention." Kurt said, waving him off. "_Close_ attention."

"...Yeah..." Nick said, completely confused as to what Kurt was trying to say. It was as if Kurt was trying to tell Nick something without really telling him. After a few moments of contemplation Nick brushed it off and made his way, at a fast, almost running, pace, to Jeff's dorm.

"Hey Jeff, I-" Nick said, opening the door and stopping mid sentence, freezing. Nick watched in horror as Jeff slowly put the razor in his hand down, his wrist covered in blood.

"Hey..." Jeff said, sheepishly.

* * *

(A.N:/ Told you I would update soon! :D Ha, sorry the chapter isn't all that long...but then again, this story never really does have long chapters...Anyway, just two more chapters left. Hope you guys enjoyed!)

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	6. Chapter 6

(A.N:/ So, just one more chapter after this until this story is over. Also, for those of you who read my other stories the reason why I haven't updated them in a while is because I'm trying to finish this one so I'm not trying to manage five stories all at once. Anyway, once I'm finished with this I'll probably start updating my badboy!Jeff fic until it's finished (it only has like seven or eight chapters left). As for All Things Go, I will update with that soon! Promise. Hopefully...anyway, new chapter. Enjoy!)

* * *

Nick only paused a moment before rushing to Jeff's side, pushing the blade away, and pressing down a dirty shirt that was on the floor against Jeff's wrists. Neither of them said a word; they just sat there in silence, not looking at one another for what felt like an eternity. Eventually Jeff's fresh wounds quit bleeding and Nick removed the shirt, which now had thick red gashes stained into it, and looked down at Jeff's arms, feeling knots in his stomach as he did so. As much as Nick wanted to look away, or just leave and pretend he didn't see anything, he knew he couldn't. Because Jeff needed him and Nick couldn't let him down again.

"Jeff..." Nick finally managed to say, in a low, hoarse voice, as if he hadn't said a word in years. His mouth was dry and his face pale, drained of all colour.

"I'm sorry." Jeff said, looking down at the ground still. He couldn't bring himself to meet Nick's eyes.

Nick's heart sank a little as Jeff shook slightly. At first Nick had thought Jeff was just cold but soon realized that Jeff was silently sobbing. "Jeff..." Nick repeated. "Why are you sorry?" He asked.

"Because you weren't supposed to see this..." Jeff said, gesturing to his arms that were frail and covered in scars ranging from thin and old to fresh and thick. Some healed and others just starting to scab over.

"Why..." Nick asked, not wanting to hear the answer but needing to.

Jeff finally looked up at Nick, eyes that were once full of joy now dull from the harshness of reality. "Why?" Jeff repeated, confused.

"Why did you do it?...Hurt yourself, that is...Why?"

Jeff looked completely taken back for a few moments before finally trying to muster up an answer. "I-I...Nick...no...It's...it's complicated. Y-you wouldn't understand..." Jeff stuttered.

"Then explain it to me." Nick said, softly.

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

Jeff sniffled. "Because you'll hate me." He admitted. Jeff couldn't tell Nick why he started cutting himself. Jeff couldn't tell Nick that he started cutting himself because he caught Nick in bed with some slut that wasn't him and because he was having a shitty day. No way that Jeff could word it would make it sound like it wasn't Nick's fault; and it wasn't. It was Jeff's for making the first cut, or, at least, that's how Jeff saw it.

Nick sighed slightly. "Jeff...Nothing you could do would make me hate you."

Jeff scoffed slightly. "Really? Because when you thought I was talking shit about your girlfriend you seemed to hate me..."

"Ex."

"Excuse me?"

"Ex-girlfriend. Mindy and I broke up-I broke up with her."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to let some bitch talk shit about my best friend."

"Nick..."

"You don't have to say anything Jeff...But you do need to tell me why you're hurting yourself."

Jeff looked back down at the ground, shamefully. "No."

"Why not?"

"I can't..."

"Jeff..." Nick paused, trying to think of what to say. "You need help."

"No...It's fine. _I'm_ fine. It's under control."

"Jeff, you're _hurting_ yourself. It isn't under control. You need help."

"No I don't!" Jeff yelled, suddenly.

Nick, startled by Jeff's sudden outburst, gave Jeff a sympathetic look. "Please...for me..."

"I'm fine..." Jeff mumbled as Nick carefully wrapped his arms around Jeff's waist, pulling him closer into a tight embrace.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is though. Just don't hurt yourself anymore." Nick said, slightly frustrated. Nick didn't understand why Jeff was hurting himself, or why anyone would for that matter.

"I...Nick, it isn't as simple as just saying I won't...It's harder than that..."

"Then go get help. Like therapy or rehab or something. Jeff, you need to get better. I don't want you to be hurting anymore."

Jeff scoffed slightly. Jeff had cut himself over Nick multiple times and now Nick was saying that he didn't want Jeff to hurt himself anymore. It was almost hypocritical but then again, Nick had no clue about any of this. "I...I have to go." Jeff said, suddenly getting up and trying to rush out of the room.

Nick caught his arm and Jeff hissed in pain. Nick instantly let go. "Sorry! Sorry-I forgot. Sorry."

Jeff stayed in place and rubbed his arm. "It's fine." He mumbled.

Nick frowned sadly. "No it isn't. You aren't..."

"Yes I am, Nick. You just...you just don't understand."

"Jeff..."

"No Nick, I'm fine. I don't need help because there isn't anything wrong." Jeff said, sternly.

Nick paused for a moment before speaking softly. "H-have you ever...have you ever hurt yourself because of me?" Nick asked, nervously.

Jeff gulped and looked guilty. He didn't even have to answer, his face said it all.

"Jeff...No..."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? It's my fault you hurt yourself...I shouldn't have pushed you away because of Mindy...If I wouldn't have...I just-I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm so fucking sorry." Nick said, tearing up.

"It's fine-"

"No it's not! Quit acting like everything is all hunky dory because it isn't! Jeff you're hurting yourself and it's my fault!" Nick yelled out, voice cracking halfway through.

"Don't cry Nicky." Jeff said, softly.

"What did I do? To make you...you know."

"Nick, no." Jeff said, warningly.

"I want to know. I deserve to know...I _need_ to know."

"It really isn't your fault. It's more mine than anything else." Jeff said, looking down at the floor and kicking his feet at the floor, awkwardly.

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, desperately.

Jeff mumbled something but Nick couldn't understand what he said.

"What?" Nick asked. "Jeff, ugh, _look_ at me."

"I feel in love." Jeff said, openly weeping again. "Okay? I feel in love with my best fucking friend and caught him in bed with some fucking whore that wasn't _me_! Okay!" Jeff yelled out, voice hoarse.

Nick didn't say anything for a moment; he just stared at Jeff, confused. "What?" He asked. Jeff words almost felt like a completely different language. It didn't make sense to Nick, he couldn't process it.

"I love you-and not in the 'best friend way'. I love you in the 'go to all your football games, pretend to like your shitty music, play your crappy games, and force myself to be into the same comics as you so we have something to bond over' way." Jeff said, eyes glassy.

"Shit. _Jeff_." Nick said, voice strained and confusion still on his face. Jeff was about to run out of the room in embarrassment but was stopped when Nick cupped his face and roughly shoved Jeff's face towards his, making their lips connect in a rough, desperate, and sloppy way. It was an awkward, closed mouth kiss that only lasted a few moments but when the two pulled away Jeff looked at Nick with a similar face that Nick had a few seconds ago. "You need help, okay." Nick said.

Jeff shook his head, still not fully back to reality. "Yeah..."

* * *

(A.N:/ And that would be the end of this chapter. Just one last chapter before the story is over! :o. Unless I decide to do an epilogue. The way I plan on ending the story it kind of leaves room for one...I might do one...Maybe...I don't know, tell me if you guys want one and if enough of you do then I most likely will...Anyway, hope you enjoyed! I'll try to update again soon!)

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	7. Chapter 7

(A.N:/ First of all, I want to apologize for taking so long with updating this...and everything. Anyway, **THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!** Nothing else will be added. There is a little epilogue at the end because I decided it would be best to put it at the end instead of add another chapter because it would be super short and quite frankly, not worth the wait. I want to thank everyone for reading and the great reviews. :D That and such. I really appreciate the feedback and I'm glad to know that people actually are enjoying the things I write. (Casually whoring myself out) If you'd like to see more of my work (I don't post everything on this site) I have a tumblr page (**glee-fanfiction . tumblr . com**) (minus the spaces, obviously) Feel free to visit, check things out. I sometimes post spoilers to stories and I take requests on it too. It also has links to my quoth-the-warbler, and other writing sites I use (like one other...) Anyway, yeah...For more info on that, go on my tumblr. Anyway, sorry for the long ass A.N. Like all the other chapters, this one won't be that long. It'll prolly be the shortest chapter yet...Anyway, I hope you enjoy!)

* * *

Jeff squirmed away from Nick a few moments after Nick kissed him, giving Nick a terrified and cautious look.

"That isn't funny, Nick." Jeff said, his voice hoarse.

"Jeff...I...Look, I didn't just kiss you out of pity or anything like that, I swear! I just...ugh, I don't know! I guess I did it because I wanted to?" Nick said, sounding more confused than Jeff.

Jeff's frown grew. "Yeah, real convincing." Jeff said, sarcastically.

Nick sighed a little. "No-I...I don't know, Jeff. It's hard to explain because honestly, I don't have an actual answer. I did it because...I guess I like you. I think, I don't know...I'm just really confused...but that just, I don't know...felt right I guess." Nick said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm not saying that I'm in love with you-_right now_! That is." Nick said, adding the last part in quickly when he saw the look of disappointment on Jeff's face. "I've never actually been in love before so I don't know what it's like...I'm not in love with you right now Jeff, but I think I could be if you'd give me a chance."

"I thought you loved Mindy."

Nick scoffed. "Yeah, _thought_. I couldn't have been more wrong. _She's_ not the person I want to be with."

There was a short, awkward, pause before Jeff said anything. "So you want to be with me?" He asked, cautiously.

Nick shook his head slightly. "No."

Jeff could feel his heart sinking. He couldn't even speak; he was far too focused on trying not to cry and make an even bigger idiot out of himself in front of Nick.

"Not until you get help." Nick added after a long, dramatic, pause. "I don't want to over stress you, especially right now. I want to try and have a relationship with you Jeff, just...I think it would be for the best, for the both of us, if we waited until you at least started getting better."

"Oh..." Jeff said, looking down at the ground.

Nick gave him a small smile and scooted closer to Jeff. "Hey, don't. Please don't be sad. It's just...right now you're in such a fragile state and I'm new to the whole liking guys thing so it'd probably end badly if we did anything now. Besides, I care more about your health than being with you. If it means you getting better and being happier, I'm perfectly fine with waiting a few months."

"It might takes years..."

Nick shrugged a little and gave Jeff a cheeky grin. "I've got time."

Jeff chuckled. "You're such a dork." Jeff said, swatting Nick, playfully.

Nick smiled broadly and laughed as Jeff continued to assault him. "Hey, you're the one who likes the dork! You're basically just insulting yourself!" Nick teased.

Jeff laughed loudly and flopped on his bed, back first. Nick soon did the same. Nick looked over at Jeff and smiled fondly at him, causing Jeff to give Nick a confused look. "What?"

Nick shook his head slightly. "Nothing, it's just that I really missed that laugh of yours."

Jeff blushed slightly but tried to cover it up by laughing lightly. "You mean my obnoxious giggling?"

"It's beautiful. Like you."

Jeff's brows rose a little as his skin turned a new shade of pink. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course I do."

Jeff smiled shyly. "Thanks." he said, softly.

"And that was the part where you were supposed to say 'you're pretty damn sexy yourself, Nick.' Thanks for that Jeff." Nick teased.

Jeff rolled his eyes playfully. "You know it's sad when we're having a rare serious moment and _you're_ the one who screws it up."

"I know." Nick said. After that the two sat in silence for a while, staring up at the plain white ceiling. A while later Jeff felt Nick's hand lightly tracing Jeff's scars, careful to not hurt him. Jeff tensed, expecting Nick to tell him how he was disgusting, or to even wake up from the dream he was having.

"Guess I won't be wearing any short sleeves anytime soon, huh?" Jeff joked. Whenever Jeff felt uncomfortable with something he always went straight for telling jokes. It was like a little barrier that made him feel safe.

"They're beautiful. Like you, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. They are proof that you're strong." Nick said, lightly kissing one of the scars on Jeff's wrist.

Jeff remained silent for a few moments before finally speaking up. "Nick?" He asked, quietly.

"Hmm?" Nick hummed back.

"I think I want to get help." Jeff said, confidently.

Nick smiled softly. "Really?"

Jeff nodded a little. "Y-yeah, I do..."

"I'll help you however I can, Jeff. You won't have to do this alone."

"Promise?" Jeff asked.

Nick smiled and gently put his hands on Jeff's face. "Promise."

* * *

Two weeks later Nick and Jeff were standing at the front gates of Dalton, Jeff's mother waiting in the car.

Jeff frowned a little and gave Nick a sad look. "I'm going to miss you, Nicky." Jeff said, putting his bags on the ground so he could hug Nick.

"It's only going to be ninety days Jeff. You'll be back by summer and we can try a relationship then...A _real_ one..."

Jeff stuck his bottom lip out slightly, pouting a little. "Yeah but I'll be pretty busy with make up work. Leaving school almost mid year isn't exactly the best idea. And I'll have to repeat a few classes since they don't offer them in summer school."

"It'll be worth it in the end when you're better. Besides, I'll help you with school when you get back."

"Yeah?"

Nick smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

"I love you Nicky." Jeff said, looking at Nick with shiny eyes.

"Love you too, Jeffers. Now, your mom is waiting. You should go." Nick said, pulling away from Jeff.

Jeff nodded, more to himself than to Nick. "Yeah...I should...So you'll wait?"

"Duh, if it's just ninety days standing in the way of us being together than I'm more than willing to wait. You've had to go through too much shit for a few weeks to stop you from getting with all this." Nick said, jokingly as he dramatically pointed to his body.

Jeff giggled and rolled his eyes, playfully. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

Nick chuckled. "Yeah, but it's your fault. You make me like that."

"Good."

"But really, I'll wait if you will."

"Why wouldn't I wait?" Jeff asked, confused.

"I don't know, maybe while you're gone you'll meet some super tall and hot guy and fall madly in love and leave me behind."

Jeff rolled his eyes again before lightly hitting Nick. "You really are dumb. There's no one who I'd rather be with than you."

Nick chuckled. "Corny...I like it."

Jeff was about to say something but was cut off by his mother honking her horn. "Cock block." Jeff mumbled bitterly under his breath.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Nothing." Jeff said, quickly. "Anyway, I uh...should go...I'll call you if I can...bye Nicky."

"Quit acting like we're never going to see each other again. This isn't goodbye, it's more of a 'see you later' kind of deal." Nick said, confidentially.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Nick said, nodding as he grabbed one of Jeff's bags and helped Jeff load his things into Mrs. Sterling's car. "I'll see you later, Jeff."

"See you later Nick."

* * *

(A.N:/ So, originally I planned on making a little scene where Jeff comes back but I just can't help but feel it should end right here. Gosh, I hate ending a story but everything has to come to an end eventually, right? Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for the reblogs/likes (for you tumblr users out there) and the reviews, follows, etc on here. I seriously really do appreciate them! :D

Now, a little side note. On my other stories (if you follow/read those as well)** I am still writing them!** It's just that I've been so busy trying to manage like four multi-chapter fics that I thought it'd be best to just work on one until it finished and then another so I had less. If that makes sense. I will update my other stories! Hopefully soon but no promises.

Anyway, once again, thank you all so much for the kind reviews. I hope you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.)

\o/


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